pov

Arisa Cox in the Spiral of Madness over Pedro’s Magic Noodle

This is a story about the host of the Canadian version of Big Brother, Arisa Cox. She finds herself in her own spiral of madness with her on-again and off-again relationship with her baby daddy and first love, the voluptuous Pedro. Though Pedro had been a terrible partner to her, Arisa kept coming back for the mind-numbingly amazing orgasms she got from Pedro. You see, Pedro had a magic noodle, and the magic noodle had a hold on Arisa. Homegirl was aDICKted. It was nothing like Arisa had before, and believe me, there’s a reason why she’s called Arisa COX…she’s been through enough noodles to know this one had superpowers.

While currently broken up with Pedro, Arisa decides to fly from Canada to the United States for a girl’s trip with her best friend, Theodora Crain. Theodora originates from the East Coast, and is known for her lightheartedness and fun-loving nature. Hence, Arisa thought it’d be a great idea to see her to get her mind off Pedro, but more importantly, that damn magic noodle. When Arisa arrives in New York City, she is initially amazed by the flashiness of  Time Square. This reminds her of The Weeknd’s #1 hit-song “Blinding Lights”, which she and Pedro used to fuck to on the regular. Waiting for Theodora to pick her up, Arisa started singing the lyrics to herself, “I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the lights. No, I can't sleep until I feel your touch. I said, ooh, I'm drowning in the night. Oh, when I'm like this, you're the one I trust.”, to which a flash mob started in Time Square. At the center of it, Arisa pulls out the most killer choreography, finishes the song with perfect pitch, and receives great applause in Time Square. As she bows and finishes signing autographs, Theodora pulls up in her Audi R8 V10 Spyder, and the two flee the mob of Arisa stans.

Theodora takes Arisa Cox to her favorite bar in New York to de-stress and catch up. It was a lesbian dive bar with the best cocktails in the city! Knowing Arisa loves rock music, like Avril Lavigne, and had a knack for singing herself, Theodora thought this bar would be the perfect venue, as New Jersey’s most famous rock band would also be performing tonight. As the band starts to set up, Theodora points out her close friend, Ember McClain, who was the lead cymbal player in the band. Ember was dressed in a particularly risque, tight skirt, revealing the tattoos on her legs. Arisa could not stop staring at her and almost instantly asks Theodora if she was single. Theodora laughs and says yes, and adds Ember is known not only for her cymbal skills, but also notorious for her magic kitty-kat. Arisa is more than intrigued.

Ember sees Theodora in the crowd and waves to her, but flirtatiously smiles and winks at Arisa. Arisa feels bashful, and looks away. She is as red as a hot tomato. The sexual tension between the two was too much to handle, with even Theodora catching Arisa blushing. Theodora teases her and says she will introduce the two after. Arisa says, “Oh my god! No, please, don’t. I am embarrassed!”. But, realizing this is the first time Arisa has expressed any interest in someone since the toxic Pedro, Theodora knew she had to introduce the two. After the band’s performance concluded, Theodora forces Arisa to walk up to the stage with her. Being the great wing-woman she is, and in order to establish common-ground between the two, Theodora tells Ember that Arisa is a great performer herself. Ember was even more intrigued given their similar musical backgrounds and offers the girls to join the band and her pet aardvark for a drink at the bar. Ember and Arisa spend the entire time glued to each other, and after some innocuous conversation, get rather flirtatious. Arisa can’t help but ask if the rumors about her magic kitty-kat are true. Ember blushes and says Arisa can find out later tonight.

The two talk for hours about their most inner feelings and aspirations. Arisa realizes that her and Ember are the same exact person! The way they think, the way they see the world, and the way they like their kitty-kats ate out. Arisa wonders if someone can have magical genitals but not be a toxic ass like Pedro? As Ember and Arisa are about to kiss… in comes PEDRO! (woah plot twist)! He walks over to Arisa with his magic noodle out and says he saw her performance on television. Pedro thought Arisa returned to the United States to see him, and hence, flew over to New York to get some ass. Arisa’s eyes are fixated on the magic noodle. Pedro says, “Arisa, you look so damn sexy shaking your ass in Times Square. I want to give us another try.” A lesbian to her core, Theodora throws up at the sight of Pedro’s magic noodle and faints. Arisa, unable to formulate a coherent thought, realizes she will have to make her decision right there and then between Pedro and Ember. Arisa is STRESSED! Arisa thinks back on the good times she’s had with Pedro, and realizes they only involve his magic noodle. She realizes Pedro never appreciated her generosity or kind spirit. While she loves that damn magic noodle, it would only satisfy her in the moment. Arisa wants someone who could appreciate and even understand her, like Ember. Arisa slaps Pedro across the face, and kisses Ember in front of him! Unable to handle rejection, Pedro pushes Ember across the room. The aardvark, upset that Pedro attacked his dominatrix, bites his magic noodle off! The aardvark, affectionately known as Smeagol, screams, "Arisa is freeeee!". Unfortunately for Pedro, he dies on the spot from heavy blood loss.

As Einstein once proclaimed, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” In the end, Arisa chose the potential of longer term happiness with Ember McClain over the inevitable, repeating toxic cycle with Pedro. Arisa Cox was no longer spiraling in madness over Pedro’s magic noodle, and she’s leaving with a new lover with a magic kitty-kat.    

THE END